Aaarrrghhh: Captain Jack Vows To Return, Run For Governor

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Well, Mateys, I’m afraid there’s no ways to sugar coat this:
Does ye remember Captain Jack? Captain Jack SPARROW, I’m saying. Yes, that’s the very Captain: The dude who ran for mayor of Minnie-appolis and finished with 265 first-preference votes, eventually hitting 352 votes when second- preferences were added to the Captain’s spoils.

The Captain foxed them, he did. They all said he’d sink from view faster than a three-master with dry-rot. Why, he lasted clear up to the 23rd Round of this RCV thing, they calls it, before the Captain Walked the Plank. There were a lot of sad buccaneers when that happened. Well, at least 265, anyways. A lot of the lads thought they’d never see the likes of the Captain again. But you can’t keep a good man down! Or a bad pirate, either! Har-Har!
So here’s the news, lads! The Captain is not going away! He is coming back to give them big hornswogglers a run for their doubloons in 2014. That’s right! The Captain says he is still fighting poverty and foreclosures and that he is putting in for what you call the governor of this godforsaken island they call Minnesota.

If you don’t believe me, Looky Right Here:

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